I cannot be a Nobel laureate

I (Barbi) will be a Nobel laureate

I (Barbi) will get married

What are the odds?

If you’re asking me, the same. The very same probability, yes.

In the morning, after very short hours of sleep (due to some prolonged stay in the company of friends, absorbing beers and emitting laughter)  I woke up grumpy, fed up with Facebook messages from males, saying basically nothing but paying too much attention to my eyes and smile. Plus the ads on the right too often offer me online dating sites, which is a nuisance if people in your immediate surroundings keep bugging you with the "do you date anyone?" and the "when are you planning babies?" questions.  The "I'm fine, thanks" reply doesn't seem appropriate, women my age without a family are just unusual. (Irregular, the wording borrowed from my dear Sasha :)))

Okay, so I hit my FB profile page and thought I'd change my relationship status now and it would be fiiiiiiiine. What I wasn't sufficiently cautious about was the appearance of that reeeeaaaally huge timeline banner, the giant letters saying I had a life event: got married!

I went to give my granny her pills, returned to find 'like' notifications. Oooops, I tried to explain, but the growth of the long thread of comments had slipped out of control by then. And honestly, I didn't want to delete the update any more. You know that cllective-collaborative humour of Facebook comments:)

I went for a run, arrived home to find the amazing evolution of the thing. Went to the beach to read a book, checked my notifications, laughed, had a bike ride in the sun, worked, checked my notifications, laughed and felt guilty at the same time, so many people congratulated on my 'big day', gave my granny her second portion of the medication, went to the shop, checked FB, laughed, did some work, made food, checked grandma, checked FB, laughed, felt guilty, etc. I had a great day!

Also, I had a touch of bitterness over how little engagement I can stir with articles I (used to) share every day, and what a buzz my fake marriage had created. And my earlier heartache is the fact/my perception that I'm more FB famous for my cheese addiction, anti-cat spirits and further miscellaneous nonsense than serious stuff I share or write.
(You might say what I share is not so intriguing. Is my alleged wedding?? :D)

When giving my grandma her dinner time pills I knew I was lost... (She would be thrilled I'd marry ANYONE.)

What's wrong here? Me? Social media rotten to the core? People?

Are the following conclusions true?

• People pay more attention to large print.
• People are very nice and overrate weddings. (Personally, my divorce was one of my greatest achievements, only two people praised my courage...)
• Béla is much more of a joker than I've ever thought.
• People hit the ‘like’ button more eagerly if it seems something socially acceptable personal
• I underrate engagement with serious stuff
• People love getting married
• I overrate comment threads
• People don’t read entire comment threads
• Certain updates can filter your friends

Anyone any experience or thoughts to enlighten me?