End of the world
This year had another apocalypse that again didn't happen. I had heard some esoteric new age spiritual whatever descriptions of a certain transition that would have involved a shift from material to spiritual, the spread of some energy among the ones who are open enough. On 21st December. Obviously nothing happened.
But for me yes, although it's been quite gradual, nothing like a comet crashing the Earth, rather like an update for the operation system which downloads rather slowly.
Christmas tree then and now
When we (my cousins and me) were little kiddies the Christmas tree was a miracle. With so many details, shiny baubles, real candles and sparkle throwers. The mere act of its appearance was just stunning. (Our parents made sure we believed the story of little Jesus flying in the room through the window (?), bringing us the beautifully decorated tree and the presents.
Later of course we learned the truth behind that, we also got a better insight into what was happening in the world in general, part of it was our family, which was not miraculous at all, sorry to say.
Then this Christmas tree business was rather a drag. My mum kept nagging my dad to buy a Christmas tree, he got one at the very last moment of course, then decorating it was not such a joy either. The tree changed into a part of the scene, an empty accessory, it assisted the family nightmare called Christmas.
Later I was pretty much against having a Christmas tree at all, it just lost its significance plus I started to feel sorry for the trees cut down, dressed up as clowns and dumped. The biggest part of my close family died (my dad had a stroke at Christmas), the rest I divorced :). So I thought just because everyone else has one we really didn't need a tree.
But now this year, hmm I don't know, maybe the the invisible quasi-apocalypse, or the fact that somehow I had a bit of time (had to cancel lessons due to a nasty cold and there is the winter break) and everywhere you read the summary of 2012... so a couple of days before Christmas I had this idea of making a Christmas tree ... out of the blue. Making I mean literally, I didn't want to buy a tree and and put it by the bin when it's dead. I made one using ivy, an old plant hanger or what, rubber gloves, fairy lights, dried chili peppers ... and paper slips. On these little paper slips I wrote the best things that happened to me in 2012.
Aaaand it made me quite as happy and excited as I used to be when I was a kid. When you start writing down all the great things that have happened to you ... there is something funny happening. The great things just make you hope for further great things that are going to happen, giving you a sense of continuity! That's pretty shocking! After a bit of recent winter blue you just realize that life is miracle! The memories of my year suddenly brought about a shiny patch in the sky that has been expanding ever since. (Höhö, funny, it's bright and sunny at the moment.) Like a new life. Now all the pathetic things you hear about Christmas on the radio start to make sense. Hmmm, is it that recognizing and being grateful for what happened in the past is a set of new Lego bricks to play with in the future? (Or it is that I am not used to having so much free time haha.)
Anyway, here is my weirdo Christmas tree:
And what did I write on the coloured paper slips?
- Lots of names ,mostly people who I met first online, then in 3D, all of them turned out to be fantastic people. I met new people offline too, don’t worry.
- Communities (friendships of new people who are like my family or very old friends, this must be kind of wizardry)
- Opportunities I have been given (although haven’t used all of them .... yet)
- New kinds of jobs where I have had the joy of learning new things. One is about young learners, one is with teen groups, and there is one that is really my passion, giving me the rare opportunity of working in a marvellous team, don't tell anyone but I would gladly do this job even for free.
- Some of the slips are occasions, events where I had the best moments
- Other slips are seeds that I planted and hope they will blossom one day
- There are words from various people which were said of written to me at the right time
- And there are moments. (When a certain 3-year-old girl hugged me in the middle of a classroom activity and whispered in my right ear: "I love you Barbi", or when a kindergartener (seeing that I take my phone out of my pocket) asked me: "Barbi, do you HAVE A PHONE?", thus signalling that he doesn't think I'm an adult, thus teaching me something precious and answering a lot of my questions XD
- There are also the people who had been around me before the Internet, I see them building things, improving, successfully coping with not always fortunate circumstances.
- Some of the paper slips are the things I learned by reflecting on what was going on, by observing, hypothesizing, testing. I also learned how to get my energy back once they are gone.
collect the good things at least once a year (you will be surprised at the abundance there), combine Thanksgiving with Christmas as you like, sleep a lot, plunge and splash into the whole thing! This is an act of stepping back and actually seeing!
Now I guess I’d better go and disassemble the “tree” because chili peppers tend to fall from it ...
Happy new year!
