Off Facebook day diary

Update 5 / 11.40 PM


One and a half hours to go and I'm back.

True that I haven't read so many websites today, I haven't listened to so much music, I haven't laughed or smiled so much, haven't got so much inspiration and haven't seen so many stunning photos. I haven't been exposed to so many real people's true stories and have't shared moments with so many. But I haven't fallen into the multitask-trap either and I focused more easily. I've been quite productive.

And I think I'm not addicted to social media or FB more closely. I'm addicted to people.

My dilemmas answered? (How I think about them after a day off FB)

Am I so much used to Facebook that I can’t see it’s flip-side?
------What is the flip-side? The articles based on studies and research on FB in mass media? Still can't give a damn, sorry :) Nobody has ever researched my newsfeed, my behaviour and my network :D

Have I been so heavily devoured by social media that I can’t see real life?
------Real life? Life viewed from my own frog-perspective, from which I only see the leg of the table? Is that real life? HAHAHA

Am I an addict? Pathetic? Narcississsiissssiissstic???
-------If I am, I am anyway. Without FB just as much of a moron as with it.


But but .... that is the source of my daily online professional development! Or is it just an illusion?
-------No, not and illusion. Reading is reading and not reading is not reading :)

I’m connected with like-minded “friends from all over the world! Is that all fake?
-------No, still seems real.
Do I really harness Facebook and use it consciously or I'm just driven away by its devil 24/7?
-------I make quite a lot out of it. Now I feel my mission is to drive others away from more manipulative, fake mass media products. This is not about devillishness, it's about angelic qualities :D

What will I refine about my own FB behaviour? 

I won't open all the links to have 47 open but unread tabs per device by the end of teh day.
I won't interrupt myself when cleaning the toilet or mopping the floor just to have a quick look at my newsfeed.
I will poke more people.
I will wish more happy bdays :)
I'll cut down on my in-the-lesson and while-working-on-something FB peeping.
I'll not exclude and use more of other news sources  (Twitter, Scoop.it, RSS)




Update 4 / 5.04 PM

• So in the middle of my Facebook abstinence day I ended up on Twitter :) (I posted this on Twitter and  @michaelegriffin replied, and @abfromz retweeted it XD). Funny, anything I tweet appears on FB, I tweeted the updates here, so I was on FB and I wasn't.
• And I seem to have a potential new FB friend (@michaelegriffin), that shows how much more suitable FB is for me, although I know that those names and tiny avatars are people, FB seems to emphasize the human-like attributes of users (to me).

• And yes. Sometimes .... when my lesson is not so intensive (my student does something I'm not needed for).... yep... I check FB... Now she is doing an activity with her new vocabulary  online :D and I'm writing this now. The latter observation means I'm not a FB addict, I'm just hyperactive. She's doing sooo fine!!! Love that girl :)

• I'm hungry-> I feel I want to see what's going on on FB :))

• Not entirely cut off, chatting with a friend on Skype. Good, good, but I can't see the newsfeed behind tha chatbox.

• And since last night I haven't read a single word about teaching. Ok, get back to Twitter, find something to read. (That is, I'm not a FB addict, I'm an information addict. I could as well be reading Kiskegyed (a boring women's mag in Hungary), aren't I better off with this? ... let's find something .... http://langwitches.org/blog/2013/02/03/ipad-fluency-in-kindergarten/  <--this li="">

• Now I remember a day when I wanted to write something. there was no straight deadline, which always activates my procrastination genes. So I realized I was wasting time on FB instead of writing. Writing something is anyway difficult for me as there is a constant layer of self-doubt under it. So I said no, for an hour I wouldn't use FB! And I didn't. But I noted down each time I wanted to log on. Only the times. In the first half an hour  it was every minute! Then gradually less frequently, finally I managed not to think of opening FB for 17 minutes!! :D That time I wasn't distracted by FB for an hour. Distracted? This is weird! Normally nothing distracts us, it is us, who click there :) I was in control. XD
• Many times people complain that their kids waste time online, a standard reaction is to cut them off the internet totally. I don't know, this is something like chocolate. Of course all the kids would want to eat chocolate all the time, all day, for breakfast too. During our childhood we are not deprived of choc altogether, our parents train us, they (hopefully) tell us about how bad it would be for us to eat choc all the time. Then we grow up, we could eat choc non-stop but we don't. Because we have learned a set of principles and a couple of habits concerning that. While being brought up we CAN eat chocolate, it's not like 18 years no chocolate and then you are liberated! (Similarly) I have/had to teach myself the FB principles and habits, my parents had no chance to do that back in the 70s and 80s :)

• I wonder how many notifications I will have...

• Academic research on FB habits. Does it make sense? Just as much as how to teach young learners. Which young learner? :D ok, there are basics and facts but honestly, as a practising teacher I would say individual differences are huge.
  Like FB habits. And my individual FB habits keep changing as well.
• To know how to improve anything in life you need to reflect. Academic research should be unplugged or what :)) <><><><><>If you want to teach kids the smart use of social media, you should know how they are using it now. Research it. But that makes no sense, that is individual. Rather tell them to observe reflect on what they do, make conclusions and improve habits. 

Update  3 / 11.59 AM

• My colleague  I told about here said she was not interested in the stuff on Facebook. What is that stuff? Is she aware that the "stuff " there is not like the "stuff" on TV, with frequent stupid stuff pushed right into your face. Does she know that Facebook "stuff" (call it content) is customisable by you? Does she know she can have control over that?
• Modes: I've recently discovered my teen students' modes, they operate in different modes. (zombie mode, learning mode, creative mode, good guys, badasses, depending on who they want to please, teachers or peers :))----I wish they were able to switch modes. It seems that they can't really, it's the environment tat serves as a trigger to put them if specific modes. Now I can obviously put myself into and out of FB mode. Good news really, it is important  to be able to put yourself into modes, not to be be susceptible to outside factors that are harmful to your life/progress.
• Self-direction is a skill to be promoted, isn't it? The role of control over your life is crucial. (Part of it is switching modes.) If you have control overt your life... even the illusion of that control leaves you with less fear or stress. As for media,  If you are not capable of controlling what media you digest ... what are you capable of doing then?  To what extent much are you manipulated? How big surface of you is exposed to media, stories, messages effects that have an impact on your life? Can you control that? Do you want to? Are you critical? What sources do you trust? What machineries are you ready to enter and go through? Do they (the designers of those machineries) really know what is good for you? Is it still your life or are you living up to the ideals you are given? TV commercials and soaps?
• I miss good people and  good things and social media, now I feel it. I'm happy I know I can go back tomorrow. Life is great here, no problem, it's warm in here, the snow is nice (bit grey though), I love my students, ... but there's more good in the world that I have no access to at the moment.

• Checking FB too frequently is a bad habit of mine, it's an annoying frequency... now no problem with this, good news, its the question of determination :)
• Doing cleaning: triggers the itch to check FB, checked emails instead and the stats of this blog :)
• I'm hungry for immediate reactions/praise. I might be addicted to people's reactions. Dilemma: am I an attention prostitute? Am I moved entirely by external motivation  of just seeking immediate praise or reaction to my existence :) ? Is it a sin? :) Even in real life I'm a clown...
• Habit revealed: right after my lessson, the moment my student and her mum left I automatically wanted to resort to FB. Is that my home screen? My den? The virtual place I retire to? OK, I've been working for this and this long, now I need a bit of separation from it. FB is my caesura? Now I think I've identified a point where I am  often driven away from my plan and get distracted. This is a typically weak moment (feeling I deserve some goodie, let myself carried away by FB. I think I'll be a more aware and conscious user in the future.

• Bad news: someone has just died in my family. I'm thinking of his son. Terrible, I want to comfort him. I can't of course, just want to do something for him. How I cope with bad things myself,  using FB? I post it (in some likeable format possibly), people react, I feel better. It took me bitter times to learn that I'm completely alone, no matter how good friends I have, I'm alone. Fact. Everyone is alone. You have to do it alone. But you can use help. Thoughts created and posted on FB are my help, these will invite people's thoughts in the form of comments, messages and updates, or other content.
• Now my immediate problem: I've got to let my grandma know about the death of that relative.  I hate this, I don't want to tell her. But I've got to go and tell her. And after that I can't go to FB to get my thoughts driven away from her tears and recollection of all the sorrow we've lived through together during recent years (literally everyone died around us). Poor her ... how can she take this all?
• Dilemma:  Facebook shows me that the world is big , if I have a problem it doesn't mean it has to grow over everything. Having this kind of view on the world gives me the chance to step back and not let myself be buried under adversities and negative feelings OR it's just an escape from the problems. No, that's not a dilemma.  I solve the problems after all. It's just the explanatory style that is different.

 Update 2 / 8.29 AM:

• Revelation: on Facebook we often talk about Facebook. There is this Facebook meta-language.
• Whose birthday is it? What happened at night on other continents? Now I realize that every day FB reminds me that it is someone's birthday. It's always a birthday! And FB made me understand that the earth is a globe and there is always someone awake. Sure I learned that at school but had never really felt before chatting with Rose in Brazil and Chuck in Japan at the same time. He getting up, Rose having the day, me going to bed.
• I woke up, lucky I remembered it was the no FB day, and I missed the updates of that certain page, tech in education, don't even remember the name, can't find it now so easily, but I like the morning tech goodies ... So I'm already missing the RSS feed/newsreader function of FB.
• And I fell back to sleep. An extra hour.
• I have this feeling that I will be more focused throughout the day today doing anything: the dishes, the laundry, cleaning, etc. now that I won't check the news on FB every ... 2 minutes. We'll see.
• It's snowing quite strangely... horizontally. Normally I'd post it on FB.

Update 1 / 1:20 AM:
Uh! It WAS difficult to switch FB off.
Hey, wait! Am I not updating my status?????http://rbie.blogspot.hu/2013/02/have-myself-merry-little-off-facebook.html